I ate that pint of ice cream...I was depressed and I ate it...And you know what? It did nothing for me...It didn't even taste good...What I really wanted to do was go run far far away, but I couldn't. I'm still absolutely heartbroken about my "babies" and still can't believe it's true. Every corner I turn in the apartment makes me think of them. Every time my hubby comes home, I go to cover my daughter's ears so they don't wake her up barking....then I remember....Every time I turn the water on to run my daughter's bath, I think of Samson whining because he wanted to get in the bathtub. Every time I open the bread I think of them because they were always at my feet waiting for me to drop some. I can't even get ice because every time I opened the freezer door, She-Ra came running. She loved to eat ice chips lol. Every time I walk to go get the mail and come back to door I'm waiting to hear them barking. Every time I walk in the door I hear silence. Sophie will grow up never knowing them. They were supposed to be her puppies to play with when we got a house. Especially She-Ra. She-Ra loved her. Always bouncing around her and licking her toes...They were supposed to be my babies for several more years. I hate that this happened. I miss them so terribly. I know a lot of people do not understand, but these "dogs" were apart of our family. They were my babies. I will miss them forever.
This brings me to Tuesday and my run.
It was an absolutely gorgeous day and I could not spend another second turning corners and almost crying. I packed up diapers and blankets for Sophie and headed out the door. I didn't know how long I wanted to be out, but I knew I wanted to enjoy the weather. I started with a nice slow relaxing walk. The wind was blowing and it was actually cool outside. I had to put babylegs on Sophie and make sure her lil toes were covered! They were still cold when we got home though! :) I decided to just go ahead and finish week 4 and get it over with and then I could enjoy a walk with the princess. I finished and it felt great! Then the lil princess decided to get a bit cranky, so I took her our of the stroller and carried her for a lil while. I was showing her trees, water, birds, and even an armadillo! It was so nice! :) After I put her back in her stroller, she finally decided to take a little nap. I decided I needed to run again. I knew I had ran 30 minutes last time and I wanted to do that again. I had it figured in my head I could do 2-5 min. runs and 1-4 min. run. (I needed 14 more min.) Well I was closer to home already and didn't think I had time to break up the runs. I thought maybe I could do just 2-7 min. runs instead. Well, I started running and I decided to just not stop...I ran for 14 min. straight! It felt awesome! I actually think I could have kept going, but I ran out of sidewalk. :) But I was so proud of myself! Week 5 I have to do a 20 min. run on Day 3 and I think I'm actually ready for it! Bring it on! :) In total I ran for 30 min. and did 5.25 miles! :) WooHoo! :)
I am finally turning my mindset into wanting to run instead of eat. When I got back, I was craving cucumber's and carrots! And water of course! I like those kind of cravings! And I've had them a lot! Give me greek yogurt with fruit over ice cream! It's so much better. :) I think I am finally on the track to becoming a healthier me! In 2 months I will be introducing food to my daughter and I want it to be healthy foods! Guess I need to learn how to cook veggies! Haha :) When we move (next weekend! AHHHH!) I will be 1.7 miles from a farmers market and I couldn't be more excited! I'm hoping to go and get some great veggies and fruit for Sophie to try! And of course for us too! :) I am so excited about moving! It will be like starting over fresh. :) It will be a good thing.
I love you my puppies and I will never forget you! :)