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Ice Cream...

I ate that pint of ice cream...I was depressed and I ate it...And you know what? It did nothing for me...It didn't even taste good...What I really wanted to do was go run far far away, but I couldn't.  I'm still absolutely heartbroken about my "babies" and still can't believe it's true. Every corner I turn in the apartment makes me think of them. Every time my hubby comes home, I go to cover my daughter's ears so they don't wake her up barking....then I remember....Every time I turn the water on to run my daughter's bath, I think of Samson whining because he wanted to get in the bathtub. Every time I open the bread I think of them because they were always at my feet waiting for me to drop some. I can't even get ice because every time I opened the freezer door, She-Ra came running. She loved to eat ice chips lol. Every time I walk to go get the mail and come back to door I'm waiting to hear them barking. Every time I walk in the door I hear silence. Sophie will grow up never knowing them. They were supposed to be her puppies to play with when we got a house. Especially She-Ra. She-Ra loved her. Always bouncing around her and licking her toes...They were supposed to be my babies for several more years. I hate that this happened. I miss them so terribly. I know a lot of people do not understand, but these "dogs" were apart of our family. They were my babies. I will miss them forever. 







This brings me to Tuesday and my run.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day and I could not spend another second turning corners and almost crying. I packed up diapers and blankets for Sophie and headed out the door. I didn't know how long I wanted to be out, but I knew I wanted to enjoy the weather. I started with a nice slow relaxing walk. The wind was blowing and it was actually cool outside. I had to put babylegs on Sophie and make sure her lil toes were covered! They were still cold when we got home though! :) I decided to just go ahead and finish week 4 and get it over with and then I could enjoy a walk with the princess. I finished and it felt great! Then the lil princess decided to get a bit cranky, so I took her our of the stroller and carried her for a lil while. I was showing her trees, water, birds, and even an armadillo! It was so nice! :) After I put her back in her stroller, she finally decided to take a little nap. I decided I needed to run again. I knew I had ran 30 minutes last time and I wanted to do that again. I had it figured in my head I could do 2-5 min. runs and 1-4 min. run. (I needed 14 more min.) Well I was closer to home already and didn't think I had time to break up the runs. I thought maybe I could do just 2-7 min. runs instead. Well, I started running and I decided to just not stop...I ran for 14 min. straight! It felt awesome! I actually think I could have kept going, but I ran out of sidewalk.  :) But I was so proud of myself! Week 5 I have to do a 20 min. run on Day 3 and I think I'm actually ready for it! Bring it on! :) In total I ran for 30 min. and did 5.25 miles! :) WooHoo! :)

I am finally turning my mindset into wanting to run instead of eat. When I got back, I was craving cucumber's and carrots! And water of course! I like those kind of cravings! And I've had them a lot! Give me greek yogurt with fruit over ice cream! It's so much better. :) I think I am finally on the track to becoming a healthier me! In 2 months I will be introducing food to my daughter and I want it to be healthy foods! Guess I need to learn how to cook veggies! Haha :) When we move (next weekend! AHHHH!) I will be 1.7 miles from a farmers market and I couldn't be more excited! I'm hoping to go and get some great veggies and fruit for Sophie to try! And of course for us too! :) I am so excited about moving! It will be like starting over fresh. :) It will be a good thing.

I love you my puppies and I will never forget you! :)

Comments

  1. I tried to comment on your last post but it would never post it. I am sorry about your puppies and I do understand. My dog is like my child. I'm sorry again!

    Glad to see you got some running in! Hope the move goes well.

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  2. This made me cry. Your post plus seeing the pic of she-ra in the basket in my apartment... I told Brad to read it, and he looked at me crying and said that he would wait. I don't think he wanted to cry either. HOWEVER, I am VERY proud of you missy! You keep running, and I will try and help you keep the "Ice cream" moments few and far between. (I can't say the same for frozen yogurt at Yumilicious!)

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  3. I am so sorry you're having to deal with the loss of your babies. I can't even imagine how it feels. It is losing a family member. They are always there loving you unconditionally and you get really attached. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you... always.

    As far as your runs go... you are kicking some booty girlfriend!! :) You will totally be able to do the 20 minute run. I was so nervous when I got to that one, but I didn't feel as confident about it as you. I hadn't run very many minutes consecutively when it came time to run the 20. You will do so well though!

    I also think it is so good that you are starting Sophie out the right way with setting good examples and showing her how to eat properly. I worked as a nutritionist for WIC for awhile and worked with the dietitian there and learned a lot from it. It makes such a difference to eat healthy... especially if you workout hard. Just so you know, you can get this book by Jessica Sienfield, if you don't have it yet, called Deceptively Delicious. It shows you how to make fresh veggie and fruit purees properly and how to "hide" them in foods so kids and picky eaters get more of them. I do it sometimes in my pasta sauces, etc because Damien is so picky lolol

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  4. oh wow...i just came across your blog and my heart is breaking for you as i read this...sorry to hear about your babies...i can only imagine how much loss you are experiencing right now! and so glad that you are finding inner strength with food and running again! good luck on the move...fresh starts are always wonderful!

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  5. Thank you all! I'm still in a bit of shock...but moving and Sophie have been keeping me pretty busy! And Mrs. Pancakes...I agree! Fresh starts are wonderful! :)

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