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Feeling like a failure...

It's only been a week and a half and I have already failed at a few of my goals.
The first, being my blogging! I only blogged twice last week. 
I had absolutely every intention of writing a blog post Saturady night, and thats when hurricane Sophie hit.
My daughter decided it would be absolutely fabulous if she woke up and screamed her head off for a couple of hours, go back to sleep for about 10 min and wake up and do it all over again.
All. Night. Long. 

There were lots of snuggles, soothing, and trying to comfort.
Plus the buying of a certain new book.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers.

I just want to say, Thank you Jesus for inventing the Kindle App.
I had access to the book and started reading it right away.

Startng today, I implemented a few things the book reccomends. Dimming the lights an hour or so before bed time. Participating in quiter activites, like coloring and playing with stickers, an hour before bedtime. Having no bright lights while getting ready for bed. The biggest of them all, start putting her to bed at the first signs of sleepiness. For her it's been around 6, so I had her fed, bathed, and ready for bed by about 6 tonight! She was asleep by 6:30! 

Too good to be true! Ha!

She woke up about 7:30, BUT instead of screaming, she came in the living room and laid down on the floor. lol

Since I started writing this post at 7 tonight, she has woken up 3 times.
BUT it's been easier to comfort her back to sleep each time since then!
LESS Screaming! Yay!

I'm still reading the book, but I think it may help! 

It's been hard for me to find 

in this week.
But I know it's there! :)

I'm explaining all of this to say...

I feel like I've been out of touch with reality for the past few days. 
I'm not even sure when the last time I've been on any device besides my phone. 
It's been 3 days since I ran and its driving me nuts.
I have a half this weekend and I don't feel prepared at all. 
I guess you could say I have the "taper crazies", but also the "no sleep", "cranky toddler", "stuck in the house because of the pouring rain" crazies...

All I want to do is go run, and I just can't.
I did 5 sets of 20 Clean and presses with my Ultimate Sandbag again last night, but that's not enough.
I'm watching the scale go up and I hate it.
I miss my running and it's only been 3 days!
But it's really been 3 weeks. Even though I ran almost 19 miles last week, I don't feel lke I did anything. I still feel sluggish and slow.
It's my diet.
 I have given up and gone back to my horrible habits.
I saw that stupid number go up on my scale this last time and I said 

Oh Hell No!

I refuse to see it go up anymore! 

One thing I now have to help me with this is...

My new FitBit!
My hubby surprised me with it last night!
I've been wanting one for a while and I finally get to play! :)

So far I have taken 2, 857 as of 11:30 tonight! :)
Nowhere near the 10,000 I'm supposed to have a day! Ha!

I now have the app on my iPhone that connects with it and it also connects with my MyFitnessPal App as well! This has made me want to track my calories again, and oh goodness did I go over today!
I'm being more mindful now and I will continue to lose!

I keep saying, let me just get through this weekend and I will be back on track with my running.
The thing is, after my first half, I ended up taking a couple of weeks off because my feet were killing me and my toenails were falling off. I don't have that luxury this time! I have another half on February 24th to prepare for! 

I have already "scheduled" a walk in my head next Monday! I have to at least get out there and do some recovery walking. 

Plus... I want to keep telling myself that I'm doing all of this running because I love it.
And I do.
But I'm also doing it to lose weight.
Once I saw how much I lost in 2012, I know I want to see a big difference for 2013 as well!

It felt great to start seeing a smaller Sarah.
And it felt even better to start feeling like a healthy Sarah! :)

I also failed on my Sandbag. I did it ONCE last week.
How do I expect to see results like that?

I "almost" did my plank everyday, but after Saturday's melt down, I didn't remember until after I was in bed, exhausted, with a toddler by my side who would scream every time I moved.

Have I eaten more veggies? Heck no!
I eat a few from Sophie's plate when I fix them for her, haha, but that is not even equal to a serving.

I don't even think I've been eating fruit this week either.

I had TWO sweet tea's last week. I've already had 2 this week and it's only Tuesday...

And as far as the going to bed earlier...Well I think you know what I'm going to say about that one...

So there you go. I succeeded in ONE of the 8 goals I can do weekly.


It really does make me feel like a failure.
Next week is a new week though.

And well...

I am no longer THAT person who quits so easily.

So I will keep posting updates on my goals and make myself accountable for them.

(Pic from Skinny Ms. on Facebook)

Personal Saver Pepper Spray


  1. You are doing great! It never crossed my mind to run when Ally was young, so you are already ahead of the game. We all have bad days, just know tomorrow is a new one!

    1. Thank you! My hubby told me this post was pretty depressing lol. And after I ran 4 miles yesterday, I already feel so much better! It's amazing how much a good run can do for your attitude! That's why I know I need them! :)

  2. Sarah,

    Be proud of the goal you did achieve. Yes I see you have high standards and expectations for yourself which is great, but I wonder how long you can keep that up? Life happens and this is a lifestyle change for you so you can not only lose the weight you want to lose, but KEEP IT OFF. I am so proud that you run and love it. I am proud that you are learning to eat healthier and better for yourself. For example, Sweet tea isn't bad, how about one sweet tea or half sweet and unsweet so you get used to less sweet. It'll take time but your pallate will get used to it and you will stop craving sugar. Use agave or honey instead of sugar in your recipes and as a sweetner. You like your tea so don't just STOP drinking it. The strategies in the book are so true. It's all about routine and starting your bedtime routine at the same time everyday and doing the same thing everytime. You are doing great and this blog is not depressing, it is genuine. Congrats on your 2nd half marathon and on your new PR. Good luck at Cowtown you will do great! My blog is I started it to keep up with my marathon training.


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